Tuesday, June 21, 2016

Club Cancer: Litmus Test for Relationships

Part Two
Believe it or not one of the saddest and unexpected side effects of a cancer diagnosis is the sudden disappearance of loved one's and people you thought were good/close friends.  For those who have faced this ugly surprise it can be devastating. There are a variety of reasons that this happens as this article points out.

Coping With Crises Close to Someone Else's Heart

"We all live in some degree of terror of bad things happening to us," said Barbara M. Sourkes, associate professor of pediatrics at the Stanford University School of Medicine. "When you're confronted by someone else's horror, there's a sense that it's close to home."

I just call them
Selfish Indifferent Cowards

Illness frightens them
Illness bores them
Illness is inconvenient 
They don't know what to say

They feel helpless
They feel it's too depressing
They worry you will impose on them
They are selfish
They can be jealous of the attention you get
They are narcissistic
They are takers 
They are unable to cope 

They think your cancer isn't as bad as what they have had to deal with

They think you deserve it because you
ate chocolate
ate meat 
didn't exercise enough

Breast Cancer Support Yarnbombing from family
and friends ♥
My own bit of advice is that when facing a crisis one of the gifts you can gives others is offering them specific ways to help, and guidance on how to feel comfortable. It also helps to let them feel okay venting about their own woes, even if they seem trivial in comparison. Their lives and problems don't stop just because you got cancer, so encouraging a mutual regard for each other's lives is important in maintaining relationships. I found some of the information in this article helpful How to combat runaway thinking  and I hope you do too.


A special thanks to all my dear family, friends and acquaintances online and off. Your words of support, encouragement, help, gifts, from far and near were a reminder of all that is loving and decent in this world.

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