Humiliating Revelations

eye of the blackbird

There is something uniquely humiliating and exhausting about trying to cling onto a friendship that no longer exists as you know it. The realization creeps up on you after a spiral of painful moments and after desperate clawing through piles of words, making you seem pathetic and needy. It's made all the more worse when all the actions scream clearly it’s over but you are made to feel like an idiot for recognizing the writing on the wall, the patterns. It isn't change that's the problem, it's not being allowed to change through denial and ambiguity. 

 It is said the blackbird is, amongst other things, symbolic of non-obvious perception. Meaning they can see patterns where others may not, some call it a  Bird's-eye view  or bird wisdom. As Margaret Owen Thorpe says in her essay about bird wisdom, "Patterns give us a world view that lets us know what matters – and what doesn’t." 

  what matters is 

"Never allow someone to be your priority while allowing yourself to be their option"

I am worth more than that.